My December

One of my more recent works.
Inspired by the song by Linkin Park (click).

I walked through the snow covered streets, feeling the cold wind biting into my skin, snowflakes melting on my skin.

This is my December,

I walked across the empty night’s streets, feeling the cold numbing my fingertips and chilling me to the bone.

This is my time of the year,

I walked around couples and excited children looking and pointing at things through shop windows, feeling how much of a burden I was to everyone I knew.

This is my december,

I walked through London’s crowded streets, standing still for moments at a time watching the crowd of people pass around me without even noticing me, feeling the gnawing emptiness inside of me.

This is all so clear,

I walked around the city with no goal or intention, just wandering around the empty side streets and feeling the familiar sadness slowing me down and dragging me to the ground.

This is my december,

I walked around houses with light inside, silouhettes walking around and carrying packages – parents laying down gifts for their children- underneath christmas trees covered with ornaments, feeling the flood of repressed memories from my childhood.

This is my snow covered home,

I walked towards the park which was illuminated by a single lamp shining near the children’s playground, quickly turning back and heading out, heading towards my own decision.

This is me alone,

I walked across the Thames, gazing into it’s waters remembering the last time I stood here, feeling the waters beckoning me forward.

This is my December,

I walked on the bridge’s railing, balancing on it precariously, but keeping to my steady pace. “I’ll be fine, don’t worry” I yelled out to the astonished bystanders.

These are my snow covered trees,

I walked in between the snow covered trees, along the lake and by the benches, gliding my hand over them as I passed near them, making my way towards the meadow in the middle of the park feeling my heart heating up in my ribcage, flowing my body with heat beating back the bitter coldness of the December night.

This is me pretending this is all I need,

I walked towards her and her eyes turned towards me and met with mine. She started walking towards me and approached me slowly.

And I wish I didn’t feel like there was something I missed,

“Hello,” She greeted me, her eyes piercing through mine. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t expect her to come, never even thought she would to speak to me! “You know what I wanted to talk to you for,”

And I take back the things I said to make you feel like this,

“I know,” She said, and I could almost see tears welling up in her eyes. “You wanted a reason,” She was right and I didn’t know why she was here. Couldn’t she just give me the reason and let me leave?

This is my December,

“I came here for one reason,” She said, her beautiful green eyes looking right into my soul, tears forming in the corners of her eyes as snow began to fall again.

“I came to let you know that you were wrong,”

This is my time of the year,

Her lips were soft as she pressed them to mine, and I could feel her warmth flowing through me. “I’m sorry for everything I did , I didn’t know that all I ever wanted was right here,” I knew exactly what she meant and tears flooded my eyes as I embraced her and whispered silent forgivness into her ear.

This is my December,

We walked through the streets, arms linked and for the first time in forever I felt a smile creeping up my face as I looked at her, feeling a feeling I thought long gone.

I was happy.

This is all I need.

My December; end.


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