Cellphone Society

Have you ever missed a chance
Because you didn’t notice it?
Have you ever not offer your help,
Because you didn’t hear people asking for it?

In this society of blind eyes
Thoughtful gazes often go unanswered,
The pleading eyes of unfound love,
The sighted eyes seek the blind but stay — undiscovered

In this society of deaf ears
Cries for help fade faster than a muted string
Pleas for sympathy waved off as casually as compliments
Why are we still even trying?

In this society of blind eyes and deaf ears
Helpless souls shed helpless tears
Blind hatred blinds blind people
Deafening devices deafen deaf people…

Why have we become these blind and deaf people
In this society of blinded and deafened people
Blinded and deafened by our own desire
Blindness and deafness to that of degree, as to not then hear the sighted and hearing suspire—

Condemned for eternity to miss the meeting
To kiss goodbye faith’s plans,
Condemned, by choice, to silence and blind the feeling
Of a smile on someone’s face as they catch your glance

By our own choice declaring
That this life is unfair and boring
Yet forgetting the vigor we have lost
When we first saw the screen we ‘needed’ the most

Every day looking down
Wasting our life, wasting our time
Playing games, ‘liking‘ pictures
Hasn’t technology gone too far this time? Haven’t we gone too far this time?

How has it become common practice,
To not look at a person when you speak to them?
How has it become common practice,
To prefer an instant message over a smile?

I go out with my friends but I feel like I’m the only one there
All of them laugh and hand their phones to each other
“Check this out!“ they say, they share a laugh or two
Then revert their disinteresed gaze to their ‘significant other‘

I have come to realise I now stand alone
Surrounded by blind and deaf people
I am destined to sanity in this crazy world, on my own
Surrounded by empty laughs and ‘could you repeat thats‘

Curled up beside me in the night,
Her face lit up
As the keys tap silently through the night
I dare not wake up

I hate that my anticipation,
My motivation, has been taken away
The moment of seeing my love every morning
Being happy that they’re no longer away

Has been crushed by their name in a chat screen
Typing away the colon D and colon P and colon close parenthese,
As if it could make up what could’ve hapened if we didn’t rush home
To sit by our screens and stare into oblivion we fail to see

How much we have lost purely because of ‘accessibility‘
I may have made you laugh or scoff, or make my point clear enough
For you to realise that in truth we are all addicted to our cellphone society
Trading in moments for our screens, not noticing the real world enough…

I hope that one day my child won’t be like this,
Condemned to live in a world where noby will notice
I hope I too, won’t become like this, although in all fairness
I probably already have

By the time I stop stroking her hair to think of a rhyme scheme
My love still hasn’t looked from the mesmerizing white of her cell‘s screen
And I sigh silently as I pull out my cell to slowly type away the words
About how our cellphone society prevents us from seeing so many worlds…

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2 thoughts on “Cellphone Society

  1. I don’t know whether you write a lot of poems or don’t write them at all, but it seems to me that you aren’t an absolute beginner in this art, but neighter a skilled writer. I do not usually write critics (’cause it takes a lot of time), but I read a few poems of other young people, so my review might be beneficial. But I’ not sure about it 😀 Anyway, I was asked to write it and I agreed, so here are my words:

    First of all to mention is, that I like the subject of the poem, it’s very clearly written and there’s much truth in your words. The fact which I already mentioned -that it’s clearly written- can be an advantage, but also a disadvantage. If you wish all the readers to understand perfecly , without thinking about “What did the author try to tell?” and if you wish to prevent from understanding differently as you ment it, it’s very well. But if you want to make the readers thinking, to make them wondering what could it mean, it’s a drawback. I personally prefer poems which are harder to understand, which have complex ideas, can be interpreted differently and I believe that the kind I’m describing has a higher artistic value.
    The second thing I’m going to write about is the form of the poem. Many of your lines are really long, which makes it sound less melodic and the reader has a feeling that the poem is simply too long. You often use the same words in one stanza two or more times – well, sometimes it’s good for the atmosphere, like in this part

    “Blind hatred blinds blind people
    Deafening devices deafen deaf people…”,

    but somethimes I found it out completely useless – such as in the next stanza: if the words “people” at the end of the lines had been missed it wouldn’t have affected the meaning. Many of your rhymes are based on so-called “visual rhymes”, which means that they’re written the same at the end of a word, but it’s good to use also other type of rhymes – words, which may be written totally diferently, but sound almost the same. The worst thing a writer can to is to base a rhyme on using the same word. It’s just as if you were telling your readers “I don’t have enough fantasy, so I’ll use the same word”. I wouldn’t mention this if it was done one or two times, because sometimes it’s needed to do it to keep the subject (It doesn’t mean I like it.), but it was done like this many times.

    Well, there are very many people all around the world who write poems. But only really few who deserves to be called poets. I don’t know to which group would you like to belong, but my goal is to belong to the second, so I can offer you some advice how to become better. I heard that you like reading in english and that’s good. Keep reading, read the poems of good poets, read a poems of amateurs to see the good way of writing and to spot the things you should avoid if you want to be good. And of course, keep writing and you’ll become better. As the time will pass by you’ll develop your own style and you’ll find out what’s the most interesting way of writing for you. If you don’t want to write many poems in the future, these advice can be applied for writing prose as well.

    Keep writing, I wish you good luck 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for the review,
      I am not a poet by a long shot nor do I really relish in reading or writing it.
      I write poetry purely to convey a thought, regardless of its complexity.
      This particular poem is written very clearly.
      That is purposeful, it guides the reader to sympathise with me.
      Whenever I try to convey a feeling I am more vague with my words.
      Look at ‘When it Rains’ for those kinds of thoughts.
      To me, the rhyme is what feels right.
      Like this one here, right?
      To rhyme is to make the reader feel aesthetic sense,
      And until you acquire quite a sense for words and how they work – unless you’re into linguistics like me – you’re better off putting on some serious experience.
      I’m one of the patient readers who enjoy the longer lines
      And words used one too many times,
      I guarantee the poem is not melodic,
      I haven’t messed with it on a level of syllables, the count of them and if they come across as vaguely odic.
      Blind blindness and deaf deafness fascinate everyone,
      But what about the vox populi, the people’s people, what about that one?
      I am not a good poet, nor do I aspire to be,
      Sometimes I just get an idea and when a Haiku is not enough, a poem must do, don’t you agree?
      So I thank you for your review, the time you have dedicated to my writing
      I will aspire to improve, if only to impress the people who value poetry deeply, like you
      It’s the last line and I can’t be arsed to rhyme
      So through the magic of the internet I wave you goodbye.
      -S.

      Like

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